It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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