we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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