If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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