ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize
