Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
