yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
