I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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