How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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