Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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