nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
