i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
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