I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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