Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
