i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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