do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize