After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
