That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
