i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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