Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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