Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
