why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I love how my cats smell like pot.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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