She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
