he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
