Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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