I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
