i barfeds in our rink
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
