I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
