I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
