I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
