He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
