So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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