Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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