cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize