k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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