For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
