The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize