I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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