this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
