I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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