Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
