I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize