Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize