sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
