I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We got so high we made milksteak
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
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