I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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