he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
