So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
