So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The ass gains better be worth it
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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