Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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