The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
