i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i need an iv and a liver transplant
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
