So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
