Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
