Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
