Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
