"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
