his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
