I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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