Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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