brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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