Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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