I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
