there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
