I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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