Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
