I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
