The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
