I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
