i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Drunk is a universal language darling
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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