Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
