i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize