I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think your dad took our porno
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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